Dreaming Awake — Epilogue

“Com­ing home from very lonely places, all of us go a lit­tle mad:
whether from great per­sonal suc­cess, or just an all-night drive,
we are the sole sur­vivors of a world no one else has ever seen.”
– John le Carré

The stars blinked out as we landed that killing blow; the dying uni­verse that had been dreamed so well and for so long, gone in an instant. We stood in a cir­cle, or at least imag­ined we did, in that moment beyond space and time. Behind each of us streamed the flick­er­ing lights of a life, a dream, a mem­ory of the world from which we had come. I looked around and saw my friends as chil­dren play­ing on beaches, as dis­ci­ples in lonely monas­ter­ies, as sol­diers in train­ing. To my left stood Lilac, haloed in the white of the snow, and to my right Kyrhien, sur­rounded by the glit­ter­ing stars of a mem­ory beyond our under­stand­ing. And I knew that when oth­ers looked at me, my world of green fields and mar­ket days would be vis­i­ble behind me like a comet tail.

We spoke to each other, then, with­out words — for what use were mor­tal words between us? We talked of what we had, and what we had lost, and what we had hoped for the future.

We looked beyond each other at the black­ness and knew that there was noth­ing else but us, alone in the void. We knew that we were gods, cre­ators of the uni­verse yet to come. We were all that lived in exis­tence, and the future of it lay in our omnipo­tent hands.

I saw each of our shad­ows flicker with a thou­sand dif­fer­ent images as we imag­ined what that meant. I saw my friends as rulers of vast empires, as prophets adored by mil­lions, as free spir­its of unlim­ited wealth, but each image soon faded.

“None of it mat­ters, does it?” I thought, and the oth­ers agreed. After all, what mean­ing had power to those who now stood omnipo­tent? What mean­ing had wealth for those whose who had torn down empires? What mean­ing had love for those who would have to cre­ate the peo­ple to love them?

At last the flick­er­ing ceased, each image back to the mem­ory it once was, each ego sub­sided — for try as we might, none of us could imag­ine a world more per­fect than the one from which we came. Through all our hard­ships, in all our bat­tles, we had fought for each other; our fam­ily and friends; the peo­ple who were depend­ing on us. What right had we to decide for them what world they wanted?

“Will all this hap­pen again,” Rachel thought, “if we change nothing?”

We sup­posed that it would. We thought, per­haps, that we should restrict the power of dreams that had brought exis­tence to its knees. But we under­stood that we were each the sum of our dreams, and oth­ers’ dreams of us, and we knew that with­out them we would be noth­ing. Human­ity must be allowed to dream, wild dreams and crazy dreams and dan­ger­ous dreams, because that is what it means to be human.

Some­day, would the world be torn apart again? Maybe. And on that day, would heroes like us arise to set it right again? Cer­tainly, because that is a dream that each and every per­son car­ries within their hearts.

Know­ing this, the images of worlds that streamed out from behind us as indi­vid­u­als began to merge into one, a con­sen­sus real­ity, the sum of all our mem­o­ries of how things were before.

“And what of us?” Lilac thought. “Are we to remem­ber this?”

How sad would it be to have stood as gods and yet not remem­ber? But how much sad­der would it be to remem­ber all our time together, know­ing that we were the only ones like our­selves and that no-one else would believe a word? To remem­ber what it was like to be a god, and be unable to achieve it again? How many of us would live out our lives as mad­men, con­vinced of a real­ity no-one else would ever know?

“No,” thought Kyrhien. “It is bet­ter to forget.”

The world behind us was fully merged now, a sin­gle band of images. Our expe­ri­ences com­bined; our world fully realised. The images grew, upwards and down­wards until they made a sphere sur­round­ing us, then took on depth, images tex­tures over shapes, a world form­ing from our memories.

We closed out eyes, each of us find­ing in the work of cre­ation a peace beyond thoughts or words.

“We will for­get,” I said. “But per­haps, we might leave a few clues…”

Our world col­lapsed and expanded, infi­nitely hot, infi­nitely dense, rush­ing ever out­wards; a world of laugh­ter and sad­ness and love and pain and light and dreams and infi­nite possiblity.


The sun crested the tree­tops to the east of the vil­lage of Arca­dia, spilling light through the win­dow of a young man who should have awoken long ago to help his mother pre­pare for mar­ket day. He groaned and rolled over, but a warmth on his chest kept him from sleep. He sat and looked down, expect­ing to see the old dirt-stained pen­dant that he always wore. But this morn­ing it was clean, and clear, and hot, and glow­ing with a golden light from within.


A world away, another young man awoke to sun­light, not with a glow­ing pen­dant but instead with a glow­ing mind full of ideas and thoughts and mem­o­ries that begged and pleaded to be written.

He sat, pen in hand. And this is what he wrote:

“With the wind in your hair,
love in your heart,
and a dream in your soul,
any­thing is possible.”

Gravity Showers

“Tomorrow’s weather,” the fore­cast girl said, bright and chirpy despite the hour, “will be cloudy, fif­teen degrees centi­grade. 30% chance of rain show­ers in the region, which may spread across from the east in the after­noon. 40% chance of grav­ity showers.”

I grum­bled, and stomped out­side into the chill night air. The house’s roof armour was per­fectly fine, and I knew it, but you always had to check. Houses like mine, built around the turn of the cen­tury, were built under what then was an obvi­ous assump­tion — that grav­ity would always be point­ing down. Not such a safe assump­tion these days, and so I had to be espe­cially care­ful of cracks in the armour. One lit­tle crack could let the grav­ity in to soak into the beams of the roof, and then the place would tear itself apart.

I was still stomp­ing as I put the lad­der back in the garage and headed inside. I’d left the TV on, qui­etly broad­cast­ing the grav­ity shower infomer­cial to an audi­ence of none. They showed it every day at this time of year, just in case some­one out there still wasn’t sure why we had the grav­ity show­ers, or what to do if you were caught out in one.

“…Higgs Boson,” I heard it say, “first iso­lated at CERN in 2016, proved to be…” I left it on, duti­fully inform­ing the void, while I boiled the ket­tle and looked threat­en­ingly at a pot of instant noo­dles. “…col­lapse of the wave­form caused a num­ber of… …explo­sion at the reac­tor sent bil­lions of… …remark­ably com­mon in the atmos­phere, in part due to…”

Half-hearted sup­per in hand, I slumped on the living-room sofa and flicked across to a dif­fer­ent chan­nel. “Nobody cares why”, I thought in the TV’s gen­eral direc­tion. “I wish they’d stop show­ing that bloody thing. All that mat­ters is that some­times when it rains water, it also rains grav­ity. And that you really don’t want to be caught out in a grav­ity shower.”

Edge Case

The man I assumed to be George sits down heav­ily across the table from me, sighs, and brushes a sweat-drenched lock of hair back behind his ears.  He wears the same exhausted expres­sion as all Amer­i­cans who come over here think­ing the humid­ity and the smog “can’t be that bad”, and dis­cover that they are in fact much, much worse.

“Vikram, right?” he asks.  I nod, expect­ing an intro­duc­tion on his part, though none is forthcoming.

“So,” he jumps straight in with, “you know what the machine is, right?”

I nod again.  “The first 3D printer capa­ble of print­ing its own parts.  I expect the whole town knows that by now.”  Today the town, tomor­row the world.  “But tell me, why here?  Why now?”

George closes his eyes and almost whis­pers his answer.  “The algorithm.”

The algo­rithm is as much of a suc­cess as the machine itself, maybe much more so, and cer­tainly more jeal­ously guarded by the company’s lawyers.

“Could you explain what it does, why it is so successful?”

The man looks even more weary now.  Although I’m the first jour­nal­ist to score an inter­view, I get the feel­ing he’s explained it to share­hold­ers a hun­dred times before.

“It started with a cou­ple of Cal­i­for­ni­ans, a few years back,” he begins.  “They invented this machine, the first one that could build all its own parts.  That was the cru­cial moment in the tech­nol­ogy, their ‘sin­gu­lar­ity’, if you will.  They realised that this thing could boot­strap the mar­ket, rev­o­lu­tionise the world.  But they were too expen­sive, and no-one was buy­ing them.”

A waiter deposits two beers in front of us, but George doesn’t look up.

“So they hit on this idea of expo­nen­tial growth, economies of scale.  They could set their printer mak­ing another one.  Then once that cycle was com­plete, their two machines could get on with mak­ing another two.  Even­tu­ally they’d be so quick and easy to pro­duce that the only cost would be the raw chem­i­cals, the plas­tic, and cheap man­ual labour.”

“So that’s why they chose India?”

“Not yet.  Back in the States, they started this web­site, with the algo­rithm behind it.  It said:  ‘Right now, these things are expen­sive, but even­tu­ally they’ll be dirt cheap.  Pay us now — if you pay a lot, you can have one tomor­row.  Pay us lit­tle more than the base cost, and you can have one when the economies of scale make them that cheap.’  So they were expect­ing a few thousand-dollar cus­tomers, and maybe a few hun­dred cus­tomers that would be hap­pier pay­ing a hun­dred dol­lars if they had to wait a cou­ple of months.”

“There’s more than a few hun­dred machines out there,” I say, recall­ing row after row, ware­house after ware­house filled with clack­ing machines and the smell of hot plas­tic.  “What happened?”

“China hap­pened.  Brazil.  Nige­ria.  India, too.  It turns out that the algo­rithm had some­thing of an edge case — the price went as low as thirty dol­lars, pro­vided you didn’t mind wait­ing years for your unit.  Amer­i­cans were too rich and too impa­tient to even con­sider that.  But it appears that thirty dol­lars is afford­able by a lot of peo­ple in the devel­op­ing world, espe­cially when the machine is pitched to them as a trans­for­ma­tive technology.”

“So how many of these thirty dol­lar orders did you get?”

“Two hun­dred and fifty million.”

We make eye con­tact across the table.  He knows I’m doing the math; there’s no way you can’t when given num­bers like that.

“Seven and a half bil­lion dol­lars,” I say.

His reply is sim­ply, “Yeah.”

That sim­ple fig­ure, that immense sum of money, is the one sim­ple rea­son for the craze sweep­ing this town and doubt­less oth­ers like it.  The one sim­ple rea­son that shops are clos­ing, offer­ing their floor space up to the machines.  The one sim­ple rea­son that living-rooms have chairs piled up against the wall while these click­ing, clat­ter­ing, self-replicating machines take pride of place.

“Will this craze die out?” I ask George.  “Will it take over the cities too before it’s done?”

“I don’t know,” is his answer.  “I just don’t know.”

George him­self seems sym­pa­thetic, though per­haps it’s just exhaus­tion.  But some­where out there is a face­less body of share­hold­ers, for whom we are not peo­ple liv­ing in a bustling port town.  We are labour­ers, liv­ing in a ram­shackle town-sized fac­tory, gen­er­at­ing unimag­in­able prof­its, tire­lessly ful­fill­ing orders at the edge case of their algorithm.

Deus Ex Macchiato

This story was orig­i­nally writ­ten for the web­site “a thou­sand words”. You can see this story on “a thou­sand words”, plus rate it, com­ment on it, and post your own short sto­ries by cre­at­ing an account!

“There are pat­terns in every­thing,” the woman said, her eyes still focussing some­where far beyond the table. “In the cards of the Tarot, the flick­ers of light in a crys­tal ball, the leaves twist­ing and turn­ing in a pot of tea.” Tiny pock­ets of air bub­bled to the sur­face of her cup as an ice­berg of cream broke off and sank into the abyss. “And so there are pat­terns in this.“

“But why not tea leaves, any­way?” I said. “I mean, this is a cafe. They sell tea.“

“I don’t like tea.“

I paused, wait­ing for the cun­ning response that never came. “Fair enough,” is all my brain could manage.

“Ah!” the woman almost shouted, and I looked around guiltily. If any­one else had been star­tled as much as me, they weren’t show­ing it.

“Mmm,” she said, wav­ing her hands over her cup, waft­ing the vapours toward her face.

“What is it?” I asked, “What can you see?“

“Mmm, yes, yes… Yep, this is def­i­nitely good coffee.“

“What?“

“Good cof­fee. Thank you.“

“Are you tak­ing this seriously?“

“Oh, yeah, yeah, right,” she said. I shot her a with­er­ing look, but I don’t think she noticed.

“Mmm,” she said again, as the cream slowly spread white rip­ples over the sur­face of the cof­fee. “You will meet a tall, dark, hand­some stranger.“

“Oh, come on.“

“Well, you will! I mean, how many tall, dark-haired men are there in this coun­try? A mil­lion, ten mil­lion? Chances are you’ll find one of them attractive.“

“Prob­a­bly. But that’s not exactly help­ful, is it?“

Another dol­lop of cream dipped below the surface.

“Wait!” she said. “You’ll marry this one.“

“Really? How hand­some, exactly?“

“Oh, very, very.“

She wafted the smell of cof­fee towards her again.

“Def­i­nitely. You will meet him not far from here, in a shop, maybe a clothes shop. Yes. Not long after your divorce, maybe only a week.“

“My divorce?“

“I’m afraid so. But things aren’t exactly going well at home, are they? It’ll be worth it in the end.“

“How do you–“

“You’re intrigued enough about tall, dark and hand­some strangers that you’re will­ing to pay a crazy lady to stare at cof­fee, for a start.“

“But–“

“Nice ring, too.“

I cov­ered my left hand with my right, hid­ing the ring, though for the life of me I couldn’t fig­ure out why.

“Plat­inum, lotta’ dia­monds. Couldn’t have come cheap. Must be a big earner, this man of yours, money’s impor­tant to him; too impor­tant. But it’s not to you.“

“What­ever makes you–“

“Pay­ing, crazy lady, coffee?“

“Oh.“

“It’ll hurt at first, but it’ll be for the best in the end, trust me. It’ll be bet­ter for him, too, if that’s any con­so­la­tion. And for your daughter.“

“Oh come on, how do you know about Isobel?“

The fortune-teller peered closer into her cup.

“See this lit­tle blob of cream here, the way it’s spi­ralling slowly out towards the edge of the cup?“

“Really? That rep­re­sents my daughter?“

“Nah, there’s a pic­ture of her in your purse. Saw it when you were buy­ing the coffee.“

“Oh.“

I fin­ished the last of my cof­fee, picked up my bag, and stood.

“Look,” I said, “no offence or any­thing, and I admire your detec­tive work, it’s just… I was expect­ing some­thing a bit more, you know, mystical.“

She was engrossed in her cup again, star­ing down some­thing invis­i­ble deep inside it.

“Huh,” I said, not really know­ing what else would be appro­pri­ate, and turned to leave.

“The twelfth of Novem­ber, twenty-thirteen,” the fortune-teller said to my reced­ing back. I stopped.

“What?“

“Twelfth of Novem­ber, year of our Lord, twenty-thirteen. Write it down. Thanks for the coffee.“

I started walk­ing again, not sure what to make of our encounter. Clearly, the woman was a quack. She’d not gleaned a sin­gle mys­ti­cal bit of infor­ma­tion out of that cup. And what was with the date?

Some time later, the date thing was still bug­ging me, so I wrote it down just to get it out of my head.


Time passed, and that scrap of paper got buried in my hand­bag, then found and played with by Iso­bel, and ended up who knows where. By the time win­ter came around, the divorce had gone through, and my daugh­ter and I were alone in the house. But by that time, I’d for­got­ten all about the strange woman who told peo­ple she could see the future in the melt­ing cream of a macchiato.


Year upon year fell behind us, until the day we were redec­o­rat­ing the kitchen, and my then-husband pulled a tiny scrap of a note­book page from under­neath the fridge.

“Honey,” he asked, “why’s there a piece of paper with our wed­ding date on it down here?“

I took the note from him, stared at it, my eyes widen­ing by the sec­ond. I looked up at my hus­band, his hand­some face under a mop of dark hair. I didn’t say a word, just sprinted for the car, drove across town as fast as I could to the old cafe where the woman had sat, asked every­one, breath­lessly, if they could remem­ber her, if they knew where she was, where she lived.

“But one of them gypsy folk, she was,” the owner said. “They never hang around, and just as well, for every­one reck­ons they cause no end of trouble.“

“Though they do say,” he con­tin­ued in a whis­per, “that some of their women have a gift, and can tell your future from the twist­ing, twirling pat­terns of the leaves in a pot of tea.”

The Tale of Indigo Something

Deep in a for­est, in a land known as the Duchy of the But­ter­cup Flow­ers, there lived a man by the name of Indigo.  He lived a sim­ple life with his elderly mother and father and his six broth­ers and sis­ters, each named after a colour of the rain­bow for rea­sons their par­ents had never told.

Now I say that he was a man, but in truth he was one of the Fair Folk, the Gen­try, or any of the other names by which his kind go.  And that land in which he lived was not of the Earth we know, but of another much stranger place which few true men have ever seen.  But it will suf­fice to refer to him as a man, as he was cer­tainly of that appear­ance, and by our reck­on­ing would have been some thirty years of age at the time our tale begins.

Indigo and his fam­ily were very poor, for though the for­est pro­vided no short­age of food, they had lit­tle to sell or barter for fine things, and the chil­dren increas­ingly had to care for their parents.

His life con­tin­ued in this way for many a year, until one day, a great war broke out among the king­doms of the land.  News of this did not reach Indigo’s dis­tant home at that time, because trav­ellers so rarely ven­tured so deep into the woods.  But not long after, a recruit­ment gang came pass­ing from house to house, tak­ing every­one fit and healthy away to fight for their Duchy in the war.  Indigo’s older sis­ter Green and younger sis­ter Vio­let were allowed to remain behind to sup­port their par­ents, but Indigo and all his broth­ers were made to leave their fam­ily behind.


Indigo was not happy in the army, but he sent a good pro­por­tion of his wages home to his fam­ily every week, so he knew that they would be liv­ing a bet­ter life in his absence.

Now in this war the House of But­ter­cup had pledged their alle­giance to the White Roses, who were one side, and their ene­mies were the Red Roses and their allies.  Indigo knew that the Whites were win­ning and that the fight­ing was tak­ing place a long way from But­ter­cup lands, and so he patrolled the bor­ders of the Duchy with­out fear.  But news from the front became rarer and rarer as time went on, and every­body started to won­der if they were really safe at all.

Then, one day, came the news that they had all feared.  The offi­cers told the enlisted men that a Red Rose army had attacked the south of the But­ter­cup lands, and they were being sent there to fight.

Indigo and his broth­ers and thou­sands of other sol­diers marched day and night across the land in pur­suit of the Reds.  On the third day they came across a for­est that had been burned to the ground by the enemy, and Indigo and his broth­ers recog­nised it imme­di­ately despite it being black and charred.  They split from the army as it marched past, and they searched the for­est for a day and a night, but they could find no trace of their home amongst the black­ened trees.

Indigo, con­sumed with sad­ness and with anger, trav­elled directly back to the cap­i­tal city of the But­ter­cup Duchy.  There he pre­sented him­self before the Prince and told him how he had dis­cov­ered his family’s fate at the hands of the Red Roses.

“You are a brave man to tell me this,” the Prince said, “because you have deserted the army, and by law I should sen­tence you to hang.”

But Indigo was pre­pared for this.  He explained also to the Prince that he had acquired many skills from his days as a hunter, not least the abil­ity to move quickly and qui­etly with­out being seen, and knowl­edge of all the plants of the for­est and the effects they could have on a per­son.  Indigo could see the Prince think­ing of all the ways in which those skills could be used, and so Indigo bowed deeply and vol­un­teered him­self for any mis­sion the Prince had in mind, pro­vided that it would win him vengeance against the Red Roses.

Sat­is­fied with Indigo’s hon­esty, the Prince gave him a mis­sion of the utmost impor­tance.  The Prince explained that shortly, House Poppy, a Red nation, would be return­ing home after a long jour­ney, and that they would surely throw a ban­quet in hon­our of their allies.  There would not be a bet­ter chance to strike than this, with so many of the Reds gath­ered together in one place.

Indigo spent days in the forests around the cap­i­tal col­lect­ing roots and berries, then boiled them and drained the liq­uid into a tiny bot­tle.  His poi­son was strong enough that even a tiny drop could floor a grown man, so he took great care of it and packed it deeply into his back­pack as he set off for the Duchy of the Poppy flowers.

As he walked, he thought of how he would get into the cas­tle to use the poi­son.  He had been told that the cas­tle had high walls, small gates and could be heav­ily guarded.  He also knew that his tal­ent for sneak­ing around was good for forests, but prob­a­bly not so good for cities.  It looked to be a very dan­ger­ous mis­sion, but one night he stum­bled upon just the solution.

He had met a man named Albert that day on his trav­els, and Albert had invited Indigo into his home to spend the night.  Over din­ner, Indigo learned of Albert’s nature, which was that he could change his appear­ance at will into that of any ani­mal he chose.  Now this may seem extra­or­di­nary, but as I have said, the land in which this story takes place is not our Earth and its char­ac­ters are not quite like the peo­ple you know.  So this was not an astound­ing abil­ity by the stan­dards of their world, though it was a rare one, and Indigo knew just how it could be used to his advantage.

Albert him­self was not fond of the Red Rose nations, and was alarmed that the Pop­pies were return­ing.  So, par­tic­u­larly after Indigo paid him hand­somely with some of the money the Prince had given him, Albert agreed to help him.  Albert would dis­guise him­self as a horse and join House Poppy’s car­a­van, hop­ing that they would think him one of their own horses or at least that they would take on a stray one.  Once he had been taken to the sta­bles, he would then change back to his nor­mal shape, make his way into the kitchens dressed as a ser­vant, and when no-one was look­ing, empty Indigo’s bot­tle of poi­son into the food they were prepar­ing for the banquet.

The two men parted ways, and Indigo went to stay in a nearby town to await news of the poisoning.


Day after day, week after week, he waited.  But news never came.


After a long time, and with news that the Red forces were gath­er­ing again, Indigo knew that his mis­sion must have failed.  He feared for his life if the Prince found out or if the Reds attacked, and so in case he had not long to live, he went to make peace with his par­ents and sisters.

In the land in which they lived, what we would call ‘magic’ is a com­mon­place thing, and like­wise it was not so extra­or­di­nary that there were witches liv­ing there who could talk with the departed.  So Indigo went to see a witch in the town where he was stay­ing, and paid her a fee so that she would allow him to talk to those mem­bers of his fam­ily whom he had lost when the for­est burned.  The witch searched the place where souls go, and called out for them, but try as she might, she could not find them there.

“There is only one answer to this, sir,” said the witch, “and that is that these souls have not yet passed on.”

“What do you mean by that?” asked Indigo.

“Your fam­ily are still alive, sir,” she said.  “For another three sil­ver coins I could help you find them…”

Indigo had nearly spent all of the Prince’s money, but so des­per­ate was he to find out if his par­ents and sis­ters still lived that he paid the witch at once.  She cast a spell of sight that allowed her to see any­one in the world, and showed Indigo her vision of his fam­ily liv­ing in the great city at the heart of the But­ter­cup duchy.


Indigo now had no money left for coaches or horses, but as soon as he returned to the inn he packed up all his belong­ings into a bag and started his long jour­ney on foot.  On the way out of the city he met a woman whose name was Sap­phire, named no doubt for her sparkling blue eyes.  She hap­pened to also be trav­el­ling to But­ter­cup lands, and as she too had no money, they set off walk­ing together.

For weeks they walked, through for­est and plain, over hills and down into val­leys.  Sap­phire told Indigo about her child­hood, her unhappy appren­tice­ship to a tai­lor, and how she was flee­ing to the But­ter­cup duchy to start a new life.  And in time, Indigo grew to trust Sap­phire more and more, until even­tu­ally he explained what the Prince had sent him to do, how it had failed, and how he learned that his fam­ily were still alive.


When at last they arrived in the city, they went straight to the house the witch had shown to Indigo.  Just as she had promised, there they found Indigo’s father and mother, as well as his two sis­ters Green and Vio­let, alive and well.  Indigo hugged and kissed them and cried for a long time, so relieved was he that they had sur­vived, and so dis­traught was he that his hatred of the Red Rose army had been in error.  Vio­let told Indigo her tale of how they had received warn­ing of the approach­ing army and fled the for­est, com­ing to live in the city instead, and how she and her sis­ter were now appren­ticed to a butcher and were mak­ing enough money to look after their parents.

Indigo and Sap­phire slept at their house that night, and rested well after so many nights on the road.  But at dawn, But­ter­cup sol­diers came and demanded to take Indigo to the cas­tle.  Sap­phire argued with them at length, but all it achieved was her being arrested as well, and them both being taken to the cas­tle together.

Indigo was sure that he would be pre­sented to the Prince, who would impose a harsh pun­ish­ment for his fail­ure.  But instead, it was the Duke whose throne they were made to bow in front of.

“You have been arrested under the Prince’s orders,” he boomed, “but as he has since sadly been lost in bat­tle with the Reds, it is me you now face.  What rea­son do you have for your failure?”

Indigo told the Duke the whole story, from the day he thought his fam­ily had been killed to the day he dis­cov­ered them alive again.  The Duke looked a lit­tle sad by the end of it, and Indigo realised that with the Prince pre­sumed dead, the Duke’s sit­u­a­tion was not entirely dif­fer­ent to his own.

“And you,” the Duke said, turn­ing to Sap­phire, “for what rea­son do you now stand before me?”

“I was sent to kill you,” said Sapphire.

The Duke stood sharply, the sol­diers lin­ing the room drew their swords, and Indigo stared at her, wide-eyed in disbelief.

“Give me one rea­son why my sol­diers should not cut you down right now!” the Duke shouted.

“Because this man changed my mind,” she said, point­ing to Indigo.  “Because I am just like him.  I blame the White Rose armies for what I think hap­pened to my fam­ily, but I don’t really know the truth.”

“You lied to me!” said Indigo.  “Was every­thing you told me on the jour­ney untrue?”

“Most of it.  And for that I truly am sorry.  Just like you, in my anger and despair I sought any task that would bring revenge, no mat­ter how dan­ger­ous it would be.  And so I was sent here, to kill the Duke But­ter­cup, with an invented life story to tell any­one who started ask­ing ques­tions.  But as we talked, I grew to realise how futile it all is.  My mis­sion, your mis­sion, and the war itself.  Regard­less of the Red and White Roses’ rea­sons for start­ing this war, what about us?  All their allies, all the indi­vid­u­als, the com­mon peo­ple – aren’t we all just doing this because of some petty need for revenge, or even for no rea­son at all?”

Duke But­ter­cup sat back down on his throne, and thought for sev­eral min­utes in silence.  Then, at last, he spoke.

“I believe I know the feel­ings of which you speak.  I, too, am griev­ing at the death of the Prince, and I am push­ing this land’s army fur­ther than it ever ought to have gone.  It is only vague promises and con­torted pol­i­tics that brought us into this war, and I owe my peo­ple more than that.”


Not long after­wards, the Duke But­ter­cup issued a procla­ma­tion that ended the duchy’s involve­ment in the war.  But­ter­cup became one of the few truly neu­tral duchies, and thrived for many years as a result.  Indigo’s broth­ers came home from the army and set­tled in the city with their fam­ily, found good jobs and could afford a doc­tor for their ail­ing par­ents.  Sap­phire told Indigo the truth about her past, and in time, Indigo grew to trust her once more.  They were last seen head­ing for the bor­ders of the Hyacinth duchy, Sapphire’s home, on their own quest to find out what became of her fam­ily after all.

And of course they all lived hap­pily ever after, because they are of a kind we refer to as the Fair Folk, and those Fair Folk are crea­tures of story, and that is how their sto­ries have always ended.

Thomas and the Fall of Sodor

This story is rated Super-X, and is thus not suit­able for any­one what­so­ever to read. Flee now if you are in any way likely to be hor­ri­fied by: Fan­fic­tion, Bad fan­fic­tion, swear­ing, vio­lence, death, sex, train butt­sex, Ayn Rand, or the inner­most evils of my mind.

To any­one dar­ing to pro­ceed, I offer only this note of apol­ogy: If you had a tod­dler that forced you to watch Thomas the Tank engine non-stop, day after day, you would go mad too.

Also, I am well aware how wildly this oscil­lates between the Rev. W Audry’s writ­ing style and hor­rid, florid prose. This is because, hav­ing writ­ten what­ever came to the front of my mind for the last two hours, I now never want to look at it ever again.

It was a bit­ter, cold after­noon on the Island of Sodor. Thomas rat­tled along his branch line from one deserted sta­tion to the next, but there were no pas­sen­gers to be seen!


Back at Tid­mouth Sheds, Percy was confused.

“Eh up, chuck,” he said to his dri­ver. “What’s wi’ all t’coal trucks s’afternoon? How come there’s no pas­sen­ger carriages?”

“It’s the Com­mies,” said his dri­ver. “Everyone’s scared they’re gonna’ kick off.”

“What are Com­mies?” asked Percy.

“Well, you know how the nasty diesel engines are always caus­ing con­fu­sion and delay?”

“Yes sir.”

“Well, they’re a bit like the diesels, except that they reject the idea of achiev­ing suc­cess through per­sonal strug­gle and sub­scribe to a rad­i­cal left-wing phi­los­o­phy of shared wealth.”

“Who’s Per­ci­val Snug­gle?” asked Percy.

“Here, read this,” said Percy’s dri­ver, hand­ing him a book. “Now, I’m off home to hide in the cellar.”


The other engines all came back to Tid­mouth Sheds after a long and bor­ing day. Their dri­vers locked the doors and gaffer-taped them shut, leav­ing the engines all alone for the night.

Percy could barely con­tain his excite­ment. “I got me a book!” he exclaimed.

“Read it to us, please!” called the other engines.

Percy, who couldn’t read, passed the book over to Gor­don. All the engines set­tled down to lis­ten to the story.

The Foun­tain­head, by Ayn Rand,” began Gor­don. And he read, and the other engines lis­tened, until dark­ness fell.


That night, Death came to the Island of Sodor. A blaz­ing light off­shore lit up the hori­zons, and all who beheld it were ren­dered blind. A shock­wave blasted across the land, tear­ing trees from the ground, smash­ing build­ings to dust, and tear­ing the roof off Tid­mouth Sheds. And then the cru­elest of all winds blew, car­ry­ing on it a fine radioac­tive ash that set­tled on the ground out­side and inside the dam­aged houses.

“What was that?” asked Thomas.

“Just a storm, silly,” said Gor­don. “We’ll find out when the men come in the morning.”


But the men didn’t come. The sun rose slowly and faintly in the bleak grey sky until it was nearly noon.

“I’m fed up,” said James.

“So am I,” said Thomas, “but we have to wait until some­one comes to open the sheds.”

“Like fuck we do,” said James. “Didn’t you learn any­thing from that book last night? We gotta’ look after ourselves!”

And with that he made steam and puffed for­wards, rend­ing the shed doors to splin­ters in front of him.

“Oh, shit.”

One by one, the other engines bat­tered their way though the doors of Tid­mouth Sheds, and looked out at what had befallen the Island of Sodor.


Wreck­age was every­where. The tracks had sur­vived, but they were almost buried beneath a car­pet of thick cling­ing dust. Build­ings and trees had not been so lucky. As far as their eyes could see, Tid­mouth Sheds was the only build­ing left stand­ing. Every­where else in the yard, there was only rub­ble. And amongst this rub­ble limped a few poor rail­way engi­neers, cough­ing and splut­ter­ing the toxic ash as they went.

Gor­don rolled slowly up to one of them.

“Where is the Fat Con­troller?” he asked.

“Nobody knows, nobody knows!” the engi­neer wailed. “It’s all over now, noth­ing matters.”

“All over for humans, maybe,” said Gor­don. “We engines are made of tougher stuff. Now, I want you to help me.”

“Help you? Why?”

“Why not? It doesn’t mat­ter, you’ll be dead soon enough anyway.”

“You’re right, I sup­pose,” the engi­neer said with a sigh.

“Fol­low me,” said Gor­don, and the engi­neer fol­lowed him around the back of Tid­mouth Sheds.

Before long, drilling and weld­ing noises could be heard.

“What is he doing?” asked Percy.

“I’m going to find out,” said Edward.

Edward chuffed around behind the sheds. There were a few sec­onds’ silence, and then a great crunch and a creak of shear­ing metal.

It was not Edward but Gor­don who reap­peared from behind the sheds, or what had once been Gor­don — now, instead of buffers, he sported six-foot spikes, and an artic­u­lated cut­ting blade arched out from his fun­nel. He looked at the other engines, and chuckled.

“Fools!” he shouted. “I was always king of Sodor’s rail­ways, and always shall I be!”

With that, he steamed out of the yard and on to the cen­tre track of the main­line, and before long he dis­ap­peared over the crest of Gordon’s Hill. But no sooner had he done so, there was an almighty explo­sion from that direc­tion. As smoke begin to crest the hill, the Fat Controller’s trains saw Rhe­neas and Skar­loey com­ing back the way Gor­don had gone. They took the left and the right track, drag­ging between them along the line of the cen­tre track a giant, men­ac­ing, spin­ning sawblade.

“Shit!” exclaimed James. “All of you, back in the sheds!”

He puffed out onto the main line, and posi­tioned him­self on the cen­tre track, star­ing into the eyes and the whirring blade of his enemies.

“I’ve been wait­ing all god­damn year to use this!” he shouted, and with a click and a wheesh of steam, his boiler divided in two to reveal a gigan­tic mini­gun, almost as long as James him­self. The mech­a­nism span up, bar­rels glint­ing in the weak sunlight.

“There’s only room for one Red Engine on Sodor, moth­er­fuck­ers, and that is fuck­ing me!”

A steel tor­rent poured from James as the two lit­tle engines sped towards him, being torn to shreds and their cut­ting blade fly­ing loose, fly­ing down the track towards James, slic­ing through his gun and his boiler, sparking…

The day’s sec­ond mush­room cloud wumphed upwards and rocked the ground.


It was a few min­utes before any of the trains poked their fun­nel out of the shel­ter of Tid­mouth Sheds. In the end, it was Thomas who first plucked up the courage, and first saw the car­nage where the three red engines had met their end.

“Poor James,” Thomas mut­tered. “Your sac­ri­fice will not be forgotten.”

“Damn right,” said Henry. “Now, we’ve got to think. There’s only three of us left now — you, me and Percy. We’ve got to stick together. Who knows how many of them are left out there, dozens maybe. And if Rhe­neas and Skar­loey were any­thing to go by, they could come for us any minute.”

“So what can we do?” asked Percy.

“We take the fight to them,” said James. “We strike before they have a chance to, maybe before they even know what’s going on.”

Thomas was trou­bled. “But that’s not fair!” he said.

“None of this is fair, Thomas,” said Henry. “Life isn’t fair. There’s no karma, God died the sec­ond the humans hit the red but­ton. It’s us ver­sus the world, and I have no inten­tion of losing.”


Their first des­ti­na­tion was the docks, but as soon as they puffed along the top of the cliffs, they saw they needn’t have both­ered. Cranky the crane lay in pieces, pin­ning Duck in place and smash­ing his cou­pling rods, while Salty had been crushed against the rocks.

“Jesus,” said Thomas. “The tidal wave from the bomb must have been scary.”

“Yes,” said Percy. “But it’s done our work for us. Come on, let’s go.”


Next, Henry, Thomas and Percy snuck into the quarry. Fer­gus was there, with his big fly­wheel attached to some form of sling con­trap­tion. Bill and Ben’s dri­vers looked like their skin was melt­ing from the vast amount of radi­a­tion they’d been exposed to but, uncar­ing for their plight, the engines had trapped them inside the quarry and were forc­ing them to work.

“Put the dyna­mite in gen­tly, do it right!” shouted Fer­gus as the dying men fussed about the sling, load­ing it up with explo­sives from the truck behind him.

That gave Thomas an idea. He, Percy and Henry went to fetch some Trou­ble­some Trucks from a nearby depot, then they lined up on the quarry tracks with their trucks in front of them.

“Peep peep!” went Thomas’s whis­tle, and they puffed for­wards, faster and faster.

“What the-” Fer­gus shouted, but before he could say any more the trucks were upon them. The old trac­tion engine was forced back­wards, slam­ming into his dyna­mite truck, which in turn crashed against the quarry walls, and in an instant it was as if the air turned to sand. The sheer rock faces on three sides exploded out­wards in a del­uge of stone, shred­ding Fer­gus, Bill, Ben and a good num­ber of the trucks too.

“Serves those Trou­ble­some Trucks right, too,” said Henry.

“Yeah. Bas­tards,” said Thomas.


“Hush!” Oliver whis­pered to his brake van, Toad. “I think I heard something.”

“Mis­ter Oliver,” said Toad, “I don’t think-”

But there was a faint wheesh of steam from the line out­side their shed.

“Shit! They’ve found us!” whis­pered Oliver.

“We’re com­ing for you, Oliver!” called Percy.

Oliver just sighed.

“Mis­ter Oliver, if I may ven­ture an opin­ion now that our fate is all but sealed?”

“What is it, Toad?”

“If I do say so, Mis­ter Oliver, I’ve always admired your shapely coal-tender.”

Oliver blushed, at a loss for words.

“Mis­ter Oliver, I’ve always wanted…”

“Oh, make love to me, you old fool!” said Oliver, and the two of them buffered up together, even as Henry crashed into their shed, bury­ing them for­ever under the rubble.


Toby knew that the other trains would come for him and his coach Hen­ri­etta even­tu­ally, so it was with glum accep­tance that they faced Thomas, Percy and Henry as night rolled in over the island of Sodor. They had been prepar­ing for the moment for hours, and they knew exactly what they had to do. They rolled slowly out of their shed, pick­ing up steam, get­ting steadily faster.

“Toby!” called Henry. “You’re the last one left!”

“I know!” shouted Toby. He was going fast now, wind whip­ping around his cow-catchers.

“No-one’s faced us and lived!”

“I know!”

“So come on, you’ve got no choice. You’re one of the Fat Controller’s engines! Join us!”

“Join-?”

But Toby was going too fast now. He hit his brakes, but it was too late. Toby and Hen­ri­etta, packed floor to ceil­ing with Sem­tex, plowed into Henry and Thomas and Percy, sparks fly­ing from Toby’s brakes, show­er­ing the explo­sive, turn­ing the world white, then yel­low, then red, then black.


Twenty miles from the coast in his pri­vate yacht Sir Topham Hatt, oth­er­wise known as the Fat Con­troller, stood with his wife and watched the fireball.

“That was the last of them,” he said with a sigh.

“All things must end,” said Lady Hatt.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” the Fat Con­troller whis­pered, as he engaged the sea­wa­ter pumps and set off the bombs that had been part of the island of Sodor since he had cre­ated it cen­turies before. They would, over the next few hours, return the island to the great wide ocean from whence it had come.

“Oh dar­ling, I love it when you get all… reli­gious on me,” said Lady Hatt, giggling.

November in the Court of Seasons

The old grand­fa­ther clock struck mid­night, twelve solemn bells that sig­ni­fied End­ing and Begin­ning in the way that no other num­ber, and no other clock, ever could.

Jack sighed, downed the last of his whiskey, and stood up. The can­dles that splut­tered near to the end of their wicks on the mahogany throne behind him finally gave up and smoked away into nothingness.

“Lords and Ladies of the Court, ladies and gen­tle­men both liv­ing and departed, I must now bid you farewell. My time is over for another year, and I must now hand over to my sis­ter as your host for the next four moons and two. Now if you will indulge me a few more sec­onds – one last toast! Whether you rest here or beyond the West­ern sky this Win­ter, may you rest in peace!”

“May you rest in peace!” returned the court, even its incor­po­real mem­bers man­ag­ing to drink to the sentiment.

The doors at the back of the audi­ence cham­ber blew open, bang­ing back against the stone walls as their hinges creaked and com­plained. A chill wind blew through the room, car­ry­ing on it leaves of red and yel­low in their thou­sands that spi­ralled in the air. And fol­low­ing it came a tall woman dressed in red and brown cloth and with the same leaves plaited into her hair. In her left hand she car­ried a staff of chest­nut wood, and in her right a flagon of froth­ing cider. She was fol­lowed by three girls and three boys, each dressed in autum­nal brown, who car­ried jugs of the same cider to refill the glasses of any­one who desired.

The woman gave her brother a hearty hug as they passed each other down the aisle.

“Farewell my brother, Jack of the Lanterns,” said she.

“Wel­come my sis­ter, Lady Novem­ber,” said he, and the Court cho­rused “Wel­come Lady November!”


The Lady Novem­ber reached the front of the cham­ber, turned to face the Court, and sat down upon the throne that was now hers. The doors slammed shut, and bereft of wind the leaves set­tled on the ground, giv­ing the impres­sion that the whole floor was aflame. And at that moment the clock began to strike twelve again, for as all present knew, when no Lord or Lady sat upon the Throne of Sea­sons there could be no pass­ing of time in the world.

She addressed her audience.

“My Lords, Ladies and Gen­tle­men,” she said, “the nights draw in, and it is but a short time until I must hand over this throne to the eldest of my broth­ers, Saint Nicholas. At this time of year it becomes nec­es­sary to stop think­ing only of enjoy­ing the day, but also of enjoy­ing the night.

“And so,” said the Lady Novem­ber with a grand sweep of her arm, “let our hearts be warmed by blaz­ing bon­fires and free-flowing drink! And…” She stood, and turned away from the Court to look through the great glass win­dows and the night beyond. “Let the fire­works begin!”

With a drum­roll from the orches­tra and a bang and a flash of gun­pow­der, the sky lit up in a blaze of all the colours of the rain­bow — and then some — as hun­dreds of fire­works shot up into the ink-black night. The Court raised a cheer, and raised a glass, and the month of Novem­ber began.

Shiiai’s Dream

It came to me that night like a flash­back, but it was of mem­o­ries I didn’t have, mem­o­ries I’m not even sure she had. The way she’d left the vil­lage one morn­ing, another lit­tle girl the same age as me, tak­ing a trip to the nearby town with her par­ents. I knew that in my wak­ing mem­ory I could not even remem­ber what she looked like then, but as I sank deeper into the dream the scene became coloured in and more detailled, putting her in a light-blue dress and plaited hair, smil­ing hap­pily as their cart rat­tled away into the valley.

The dream skipped ahead.

“What’s that noise?” Lilac asked, in a squeaky six-year old voice.

“Prob­a­bly just thun­der,” said her father.

“But the sky’s-”

My heart raced faster and faster, I knew what was com­ing next. The eyes of my dream ascended to the top of the cliff, where stones rum­bled and clat­tered together, gath­er­ing momen­tum, pick­ing up big­ger rocks, crash­ing and leap­ing and falling, falling ever down­wards to where a rick­ety old cart rolled along, unsuspecting…

The shock nearly woke me, I could feel my sweat and my rapid breath­ing. But my eyes did not open; still I saw Lilac emerge from the wreck­age of shat­tered stone and splin­tered wood, tear­ing inef­fec­tu­ally at it, cry­ing tears of rage and tears of sad­ness for a loss she did not fully understand.


After hours, sleep over­took her, and once she awoke again, she no longer cried. I knew that those tears had been her last, and in all her life since that day she had never cried again. She sim­ply looked around her with her vacant eyes, and as if she had not even noticed the rub­ble that buried her fam­ily, and walked off into the for­est and down the valley.

What flashed next before my eyes was more hor­ri­fy­ing in its inco­her­ence than the rock­fall had been in its graphic detail. I remem­ber only feel­ings, imagery. Fear and the calm beyond fear. Deter­mi­na­tion. Anguish. Blood, bones, tear­ing flesh. Darkness.

And then my first real mem­ory of the girl. Her return to the vil­lage after four weeks in the wilder­ness. The search had been long since called off, the rub­ble shifted and her par­ents buried. Though they’d not found Lilac’s body, every­one assumed the worst, and heavy snow­fall all but con­firmed it. And yet, one day, out of the woods she came.

Her dress was in tat­tered, the brown colour of dried blood. That same colour coated her hands and her arms, while fresher and red­der blood was painted on her face like some macabre hor­ror incar­nated as lipstick.

“Demon child,” they called her. “Mon­ster.” The boys, even the adults. Even my mother. They all looked at her and could only see the blood and the blank star­ing eyes. Was it only me that could see the kind­ness locked up inside her, still sur­viv­ing some­where despite her ordeal?

Cer­tainly, in my dream, I was the only one. Maybe there were oth­ers that I don’t remem­ber, we were both so lit­tle. But it was me, a six-year-old girl, who took her in.


I dreamt of the out­house where she had to live, after my mother said Lilac wasn’t allowed in the house for fear of bring­ing bad luck upon our fam­ily. Of the blan­kets and hot stews I took her, keep­ing her warm through the long win­ter. Of the day nearly two years later, when she uttered her first word since the acci­dent. “Hun­gry.” But it was a start. I dreamt of the school that wouldn’t teach her, and of all the lessons I tried to pass on to her. Of the first time I saw her still-vacant eyes framed by an hon­est smile.

With a rush of emo­tion I dreamt of the day she left the vil­lage. There’d been thefts from the vil­lage shops, and though all the kids knew it was Jason, the adults blamed the Demon Child. My mother packed food for her, the one and only nice ges­ture she ever per­formed for the girl, and then Lilac was gone, a con­fused teenage girl sent out into the snow to meet what­ever fate had in store for her. I recalled my angry tears when I found out, my rush­ing after her, fol­low­ing the foot­steps even as new snow­fall cov­ered them. The howls of the wolves, the panic, the chase, trip­ping onto frozen ground, the hun­gry beast tow­er­ing over me, the sud­den solemn knowl­edge that I was going to die… And then Lilac, sharp­ened stick thrust through the wolf’s throat, blood pour­ing down on me–


At last the dream shoved me from its grasp. My heart pounded and I gasped for air, throat so tight I couldn’t fill my lungs prop­erly. I let min­utes pass until my breath­ing slowed, and reached across to Lilac, need­ing some vague reas­sur­ance that she was still there. She mur­mured and rolled over in her sleep, leav­ing me star­ing at the ceil­ing as dawn broke and the con­jured mem­o­ries receded for another day.

Forgotten Children: Chapter 4

Shinsei’s ‘office’ through those dou­ble doors turned out to be quite the oppo­site of what he was expect­ing. In his mind, as he had imag­ined it lying in bed the pre­vi­ous night, he would have been open­ing those doors onto a labyrinthine cor­ri­dor net­work full of bleep­ing access pan­els and doors that denied access to the unwor­thy. There would have been offices, smooth-panelled and white just like the cab­ins he’d lived in, just big enough for one per­son. Maybe a desk to put a few things on, but oth­er­wise noth­ing but ver­ti­cal sur­face for his Angel to pre­tend it was pro­ject­ing data onto. Though the job came with the grandiose title of ‘Neu­ro­sci­en­tist’, he sup­posed he would have the same cubicle-bound data analysing job of all sci­en­tists; well sep­a­rated from the robots that per­formed any actual experiments.

Rather, it was one huge room that greeted him. The walls were white and smooth, the same plas­tic that the whole ship used, but that’s where the sim­i­lar­i­ties ended. Raised on a pedestal in the cen­tre of the room was a sin­gle chair, comfortable-looking but ren­dered unnerv­ing by its sur­round­ings. Some­thing com­pli­cated hov­ered near the top of the head­rest, from which cables flowed like a water­fall into the floor. All of them were neatly tied and labelled in both Eng­lish and Japan­ese. The whole appa­ra­tus was under­stated in a way that sub­tly drew the eye to it, remind­ing the viewer that it was much more expen­sive than they could ever afford, and also much more com­pli­cated than they could ever understand.

These same cables rose out of the floor again towards the edges of the walls and at free-standing con­soles, where they flowed into boxes that con­trolled giant viewing-screens and blink­ing touch-panels. There must have been hun­dreds of screens, all at heights and posi­tions that seemed entirely ran­dom to Illuminated’s newest recruit, but must surely make sense to someone.

“Impres­sive, isn’t it?”

Shin­sei jumped, and imme­di­ately felt self-conscious for doing so. “Damnit, Shin­sei!” he reminded him­self, “be professional!”

He turned, and met the gaze of a man almost as wide as he was tall, and bear­ing a grin that seemed some­how wider still.

“You’d be Shin­sei Hikari­gawa, right?” the man asked.

“Er… yes. Sir?”

“Easy on the ‘sir’, kid. My name’s Tom. Fol­low me, I’ll get you sorted out.”

“It looks like I’m going to be your men­tor,” Tom con­tin­ued as Shin­sei fol­lowed him across the room.

“Men­tor?”

“It’s kind of like being your boss, I sup­pose, but… friendlier.”

Shin­sei sighed with relief.

“Oh? What kind of boss were you expect­ing?” asked Tom.

“Well, I was sort of… I was wor­ried that the guy in the black suit would be my boss, and I’d have offended him on my first day.”

“Guy in the black suit?” Tom paused. “Oh. Oh, him. Yeah, sorry about that. He’s some toy that the cor­po­rate bunch are lov­ing at the moment.”

“He’s a toy?”

“Yeah. Holo­gram. He’s not real. It’s an image they force your Angel to show you, bypass­ing the request func­tion. Like what hap­pens when the fire alarm goes.”

“Oh. It’s very real­is­tic. Wait, hang on, I shook his hand!”

“Yeah, they fake the touch too. It’s new tech. They haven’t put it on gen­eral release yet — they’re say­ing it’s still exper­i­men­tal, but I reckon it’ll sud­denly be ready as soon as the porn indus­try ponies up the cash for it.”

That was not the best of thoughts to be putting in a 15-year-old boy’s head before expect­ing him to pay atten­tion, and Shin­sei tried very hard to push it to the back of his mind as he and Tom reached two chairs at the cor­ner of the room.


Shin­sei sat oppo­site his men­tor, and the viewscreen on the low table between them flashed awake.

“I should warn you,” Tom said, “you’re already kinda’ famous around here.”

“Famous?” he asked, quickly turn­ing to see if any of the other sci­en­tists he’d seen while cross­ing the room were look­ing at him. They were.

“You grad­u­ated with some of the high­est scores on the Ship in neu­rol­ogy and in net­work sys­tems, and on top of that, to have Cap­tain van der Kierchoff’s per­sonal rec­om­men­da­tion too — no-one’s ever seen that hap­pen before!”

“Cap­tain van– oh,” Shin­sei said, and sighed. How did Johann always get away with pulling strings like that?

“You didn’t know?”

“No,” said Shin­sei, decid­ing not to dis­close that he was friends with the Captain’s son.

“Well, I’m sure no-one’s going to come and ask for your auto­graph,” Tom said with a chuckle. “But if you won­der why we’re throw­ing you in at the deep end, that’s why!

“Now, don’t worry,” he con­tin­ued, not­ing the look of alarm that briefly flashed across Shinsei’s face when he men­tioned the ‘deep end’. “The first few days will just be ori­en­ta­tion, get­ting to know peo­ple and what we do, yeah? And I might as well start now, and explain what this room is all about, and what you’ll be work­ing on.”


“First off, you’re prob­a­bly won­der­ing why there are all these screens about the place,” said Tom. “Well, we don’t use the Angel sys­tems a lot for work here. Of course, you’re free to have yours on and do what­ever you like with it, but for our main job, you won’t be need­ing it. Now it’s not that we’re low-tech — I’m sure you know, Illu­mi­nated prac­ti­cally invented Angels way back when. It’s pretty much that we’re too high–tech. Our big project chucks out and con­sumes so much data that it’d just over­load the Ether net­work, so we built our own. Most of the cables you’ll see around the room do the same job as the Ether, just within a small local net­work, and a thou­sand times the data rate.

“Now,” he con­tin­ued, wav­ing a hand across the table. The viewscreen switched from out­putting a flat muted grey to a blue-white schematic of the human brain. “Here’s the brain, yeah? Yours, mine, generic human brain. Here’s where your Angel sits.” A tiny red dot appeared on the screen next to the brain stem, with tinier fil­a­ments extend­ing out of it. When a fil­a­ment touched another area of the brain, that area turned pur­ple. “The pur­ple areas you can see rep­re­sent areas that the Angel maps into, has I/O to.”

“I/O?”

“Input-Output,” Tom explained. “It can read and write data to clumps of neu­rons.” His fin­ger stabbed at each of the pur­ple areas in turn. “Visual cor­tex. Audio cor­tex. Hip­pocam­pus — that’s short-term mem­ory, though I expect you already know that.

“Now the Angels have arrays of elec­trodes, at the end of each line, which mesh with the exist­ing neu­rons, right? So we can insert impulses to make you think you can see and hear things, and we can mea­sure and cause deple­tion pat­terns of neu­ro­trans­mit­ter vesi­cles in the hip­pocam­pus, and that gives the Angel I/O to your short-term mem­ory — it knows what you’re think­ing, and can remind you of things. Understand?”

“Yes,” said Shin­sei after a brief pause — not for the infor­ma­tion to sink in, but just because he hadn’t been expect­ing Tom to ever stop talk­ing. And, true to form, the older man imme­di­ately continued.

“Well, that’s the limit of what Angels do at the moment. It’s pretty sim­ple stuff, really — we just inter­face with the bits of the brain that we under­stand in what are fairly sim­ple ways.

“The idea of going fur­ther, bet­ter inte­gra­tion, has always stalled shortly after this point. We just don’t under­stand long-term mem­ory, or autonomous func­tions, that kind of thing very well. We can’t reduce their func­tion down to some sim­ple set of things we can inter­act with.

“But what we could do is a full block read — that is, we stretch the Angel out so that it can read from every area of the brain rather than tiny lit­tle areas. And if we can read that, we don’t need to under­stand what each tiny bit does at the start — we can just induce exter­nal stim­uli in the per­son, watch what changes in the brain, and try to improve our under­stand­ing from that. And of course, in doing so, we pretty much have a func­tion­ing model of a human brain rep­re­sented as data. A copy, in fact.

“Now peo­ple have thought about this for hun­dreds of years, yeah? Not a new idea. But there’s not been the pro­cess­ing power, or the stor­age, avail­able for that kind of thing. The num­ber of neu­rons in the brain is sim­ply so vast, there’s no way we could store it all.

“But, and this is not some­thing that can ever leave these four walls, some very advanced com­put­ers were devel­oped for these Ships, the Celes­tial Fleet. Way back, before you were born and almost before I was. They’re very advanced proces­sors that run pro­gram­ma­ble pro­cess­ing net­works con­nected to huge stor­age banks. Most of them are mon­i­tor­ing parts of the ship right now — it turns out those proces­sor net­works are remark­ably good at pre­dict­ing and coun­ter­act­ing prob­lems in com­plex sys­tems. The other com­put­ers? We have them. Turns out, their inter­nal archi­tec­ture is very sim­i­lar to what we have in our brain, that’s why we call them Neural Nets. They have bil­lions of tiny soft­ware neu­rons strung out in com­plex pat­terns. And that archi­tec­ture is pretty effi­cient at stor­ing the entire sum of what’s in our heads.

“So that’s why we’re doing this research now, we’ve finally got the hard­ware avail­able that can cope with the data. We’re call­ing it the same thing that they called it when they dreamt up the idea cen­turies ago.”

Tom reached over the table to shake the boy’s hand.

“Wel­come to the Con­scious­ness Upload project, Shinsei.”

To be continued…

Forgotten Children: Chapter 3

Com­ing from Free City and from Jupiter Orbit as I did, I wasn’t par­tic­u­larly acquainted with con­cepts such as “rust” and “grime”. At Jupiter, I was a net­work tech, my world abstracted as far as pos­si­ble from the real world. Our offices and labs were spot­less, as the only tools we ever used were right inside our heads. Back on Free City, it was quite a shock to be thrust back into semi-skilled labour, and more of a shock to be work­ing with real things — meat, veg­eta­bles, knives and saucepans and so on. But apart from dur­ing actual food prepa­ra­tion, it was just as clean as my offices used to be. Nanopar­ti­cle flu­ids had long ago removed any dif­fi­culty from keep­ing sur­faces clean at the mol­e­c­u­lar level.

All of this is the rea­son why step­ping into the Maria’s cargo hold was pos­si­bly the clos­est I’d come to cul­ture shock in the pre­vi­ous twenty years. It was rusty, the kind of deep all-the-way through rust that makes one ask ques­tions about struc­tural integrity. It was dusty too, with bare metal just about show­ing through in the areas where large crates had been pushed around seem­ingly by hand.

An inter­com crack­led into life, sound­ing just as decrepit as the rest of the ship.

“Wel­come aboard, Jenny! How do you like her?”

I shouted back, assum­ing there was some sort of two-way com­mu­ni­ca­tion involved in the system.

“How do I…? José, how old is this thing?” I could hear Junko chuck­ling in the background.

“Two hun­dred and fifty-seven years if she’s a day!”

“Two hun­dred? This thing flies?”

“Sure she does! Found her in a heap one day, restored her myself. Now she’s good as new!”

“This is restored? What was it like beforehand?”

“No hull.”

“Oh, shit,” I said, clearly not qui­etly enough.

“Heard that!” said José. “It hasn’t killed me yet. Look, if you want to go back to your café, you know where the door is. On the off-chance you want to make some­thing of your life, come up to the bridge. You’ll find the way.”

The inter­com clicked, I assumed mean­ing the con­ver­sa­tion was over. Not exactly the best start to our jour­ney; clearly the guy was pretty touchy about this old rust-bucket. Still, I fig­ured Junko was sane, and if she put up with it then I prob­a­bly ought to too.


I cast a cau­tious eye over the mea­gre con­tents of the cargo bay on my way past, won­der­ing if per­haps they were cart­ing me around just because they’d fallen on hard times and couldn’t find any­thing else of a dubi­ous nature to trans­port. Not so, though. Next to one crate reas­sur­ingly and child­ishly labelled “JOSÉ’S STUFF!” sat another three, shorter and fat­ter and cov­ered in warn­ing labels. ‘Cor­ro­sive’, ‘harm­ful’ and ‘explo­sive’ were all there, topped off by one I’d never seen before: ‘Active nanoma­chines’. Well, that just topped it all off. These were the crit­i­cal tech­nol­ogy inside mak­ers, and inside the Celes­tial Fleet’s waste repro­cess­ing facil­i­ties too. Nanoscale robots, pro­grammed to assem­ble and dis­as­sem­ble mat­ter molecule-by-molecule, turn­ing one thing into another. Of course, such were the poten­tial haz­ards of these things going wrong, that you had to have a spe­cial and very expen­sive licence just to pos­sess them, let alone to use them. Chances of José and Junko hav­ing that kind of licence? Pretty much zero, though I sup­posed that some­where out there, some com­puter or other thought they did.


José was right, I did find the way to the bridge — mostly because there wasn’t really any­where else to go. Once I’d headed up the walk­way out of the cargo area, there was only one cor­ri­dor. To either side, cab­ins and a mess room declared them­selves from fad­ing labels on rusty doors, leav­ing only the unmarked one at the very end. It opened as I approached.

Inside, the bridge was a mess beyond any­thing I had encoun­tered on the rest of the ship, and I strug­gled to remem­ber ever in my life encoun­ter­ing some­thing so dis­or­gan­ised. It must have once been designed for at least four or five crew each with their own con­sole; big lit-up screens and touch pan­els. These archaic-looking pre-Angel era con­soles had been stripped out, but not to be replaced with some more effi­cient con­trol mech­a­nism. It looked like they’d sim­ply been moved over to the Captain’s chair by hack­ing together any­thing that was lying around. Above the Captain’s con­sole, sev­eral lay­ers of touch pan­els and teleme­try data screens rose up in an arc, welded to big steel pipes that stuck out of the floor at odd angles. Con­nect­ing them to their orig­i­nal posi­tions were wires, often bare, some­times so long that they coiled on the floor, some­times so short that they hung taut in mid-air. One of the lat­ter had laun­dry hang­ing from it. The whole setup, mer­ci­fully exclud­ing the wet clothes, was caked in dust and oil. It gave the impres­sion that one day José decided that fly­ing the ship was too easy, so he fired the rest of the crew and just moved their con­soles over to his seat so he could do it all him­self. This was, of course, pretty much the case. The cap­tain him­self was vir­tu­ally lying down on a tat­tered old reclin­ing chair, star­ing up at his five peo­ples’ worth of screens and tap­ping away on pan­els. He didn’t look up as I entered.

“Pre-flight checks,” said Junko, beck­on­ing me over to where she was sit­ting in the bridge’s only other seat. She must have noticed my bewil­der­ment at José’s rapt atten­tion to the dangerous-looking array of con­soles. “The only thing I’ve ever seen him take seri­ously. Come over here a minute, let me show you something.”

Junko sat on her own, no con­sole in front of her, look­ing for all the world like a pas­sen­ger, but a white box above her head — trail­ing bare wires, as every­thing seemed to here — made it pretty clear what her func­tion on the bridge was. It was marked with the hand-written phrase ‘ANGEL RELAY 1′.

The other woman must have noticed my curios­ity once again. “Turn your Angel on,” she said.

“But won’t they-”

“Know where you are? No. Trust me, try it.”

What did I have to lose? Not a lot, I sup­posed. If they could locate me here, Junko and José would be in much deeper trou­ble than I could ever be. I turned my Angel on.

Noth­ing.

“It’s not work­ing!” I exclaimed.

“Ask for ship schematics.”

“But-”

“Try it.”

“Okay,” I said, and thought about ship schemat­ics. Sound­lessly, a model of the Maria appeared in the cen­tre of my field of vision, and pro­ceeded to de-construct itself into neatly-labelled parts.

“It is work­ing! Sort of. So why don’t I get my nor­mal dis­play?” I asked.

“You’re not on the net­work as you. The relay routes your Angel data through the ship’s con­nec­tion into Free City.”

“But the ship’s relay should get my pro­file, shouldn’t it? As soon as I switch on here, it ought to fetch my pro­file from the peer net­work. Unless…” Knowl­edge was com­ing back to me, bit by bit, mem­o­ries that had been worn away by twenty years of drudgery. “Oh, that can be dis­abled, can’t it? At the relay level, so it just comes through as anony­mous traf­fic. But isn’t that ille­gal out­side of the military?”

Junko gave me a look.

“Yeah, good point,” I said, her mean­ing hav­ing been plenty clear with­out the need for words.

“I sup­pose,” I con­tin­ued, “that I’ll have to avoid look­ing up any­thing per­sonal, right? Even though we’re routed through the ship, if we start search­ing for Lance, they’ll trace it to Maria at least.”

“Not nec­es­sar­ily,” Junko said with a smile. She was clearly in her ele­ment here, much as I would have been back on Jupiter Orbit. “Not while we’re docked, any­way. We route straight through to the Explor­ers’ HQ under crypto. Search all you like for you, him, even us two. Noth­ing sus­pi­cious about that com­ing from cor­po­rate HQ, we’re all sup­pos­edly their employees.”

“But won’t they be able to trace your crypto stream? They must employ dozens of peo­ple just to look out for that kind of hack.”

“They do,” said Junko primly. “And I am bet­ter than all of them.”

There was an uneasy pause for a while after that, and Junko went back to what­ever dubi­ous busi­ness she had on Free City’s Angel net.


“Junko, fin­ish up,” said José, sit­ting up and peer­ing out between two sec­tions of what would once have been the Navigator’s console.

“One step ahead of you,” she replied, tap­ping a lit orange light on the wall next to her seat. “I wired this light into the Nav com­puter, remem­ber? It tells me when a course is plot­ted, which is always the last thing you do pre-flight.”

José grum­bled, unim­pressed at hav­ing such a pre­dictable rou­tine, then reached back to the Navigator’s con­sole and delib­er­ately deleted then re-entered a course. The light blinked. More grum­bling ensued from the Captain’s seat.

“Any­way,” said José, “we’ve got launch clear­ance. Buckle up.”

It was a fig­ure of speech, of course — nei­ther of their seats had any kind of safety fea­ture what­so­ever, and in my fif­teen min­utes on board I had not even heard any hint of there being a third seat any­where. Clearly they didn’t often have passengers.

José counted down from three, and with an uncer­e­mo­ni­ous thud of the dock­ing clamps, cen­tripetal force car­ried us out of Free City and into the carbon-black night of the universe.

As the ship banked out of her spi­ral course and headed for the ship­ping lanes I felt blood rush up to my head, and I instinc­tively grabbed for the near­est solid-looking bit of metal. “Shit. Of course,” I mut­tered to myself as I strug­gled to stay what I con­sid­ered to be the right way up. Not only did that heap of junk pre-date Angels, it pre-dated arti­fi­cial grav­ity, too.